Sometimes, when I'm alone and probably been thinking too much I find myself in tears.
Thinking about the ex. It's been eight months since we broke up. Five months since we stopped 'seeing each other'. Nearly a month since he sprung it on me (whilst sober) that we were, infact 'seeing each other'. Five days since he questioned when he said that. Three days since I last saw him.

Why do I get upset?
Is it overtiredness?
Stress of my work due in next week?
Do I miss him?
Do I find it slightly hard to trust everything he says?
Is it just at how much he's pissing me around?
The fact that he constantly seems to be telling me how well he treated/treats me?
The fact that he is actually acting like a prick?

I don't know.

I don't even know what I want anymore.

I plan not to contact him though. Easier said than done. I will try to be strong. But I don't know what to do if he gets in touch. I doubt he will. I really don't think he cares anymore. If he ever did. Probably for the best if he doesn't, yet I'll be gutted about it. I already think I am.

I really don't know why it's all suddenly getting to me again though.
Once, I had a guard up. Protecting me from getting hurt again. Have I got too attached again?
It's been ages since I've been upset over him. Why start again now?