My ex never fails to confuse me. I received another email from him earlier asking if I missed him because I 'sent him a lot of emails'. For what it's worth he 'misses me' he informs me. He makes it sound like I am constantly emailing him every second of every day. He fails to mention that he has been replying inbetween these emails and that other than when I sent him an email a few days after telling him I needed to cut contact, he has always initiated the emails. Even sending me another one a couple of time when I haven't replied straight away. I email him back, 'yes I guess I do'. Haven't heard anything from him since. Is he playing games with me? Is he trying to confuse me? It's working if it is.

I am trying to get back into a normal sleeping routine. Since being in hospital, I've gone a bit mental with sleep. I either have so many painkillers I'm out of it or knackered from trying to make an effort to stop my hip from seizing up. Trouble is I keep overdoing it and end up sleeping or just lying around for ages, waiting for the pain to die down. Then, I find I'm awake at silly unsociable hours and end up getting bored and feeling lonely in the middle of the night. Which doesn't take my mind of the pain. Hopefully I'll sleep a bit better today though.

I'm being really rubbish at completing my coursework. I've pretty much only got one essay due in in just under two weeks and for the rest, I have an extension. Technically, I have an extension for it all but I figure the more I get done now, the less I have to do over summer and the more I can enjoy it. It's just hard to concentrate with so much going on in my head and constantly being in and out of it. When I'm feeling loads of pain I can't concentrate and when I've had my painkillers I end up not being able to concentrate because I'm not quite with it for a bit.

I'm attempting to have a massive clearout of my stuff. I planned to be ruthless but I'm not very good at it. I start of quite well and then five minutes into it, I start getting sentimental or believing that even though I haven't used something for ages I will need it in the near future. I guess if I do five or ten minutes a day though, it's better than nothing and maybe eventually I'll have a clearer space...it helps take my mind of the pain or stressing about coursework too as I don't need to really think too hard for it.

Ah well. I'm moving rooms at both my parents house and back home soon, so maybe as I transport my stuff over I can decide what I need, what I want and what is useless. To think I have two rooms full of stuff - there must be a reasonable amount I can throw away, you would think anyway. Will have to make a massive effort I suppose.

Think I will watch a bit of tv and try and drift off to sleep reasonably early tonight, so shall leave it here.